It begins from a funeral

The weather has been depressingly cloudy for the past week. The air was thick and humid, making you so uncomfortable even just to stand still. It finally starts pouring this morning. This is very usual during the Summer of an Asia city. But today is particularly unusual for my family. It is the funeral service of my grandmother.

Death is a taboo for Chinese, it is mysterious, it is the "you-know-who has you-know-what" saying with half your lips sealed and with this "you know what i'm sayin" head tilting. It is not death which makes you fear, it is how Chinese handle the undertakings that brings you the creeps.

It will take 2 days to complete the service, and I have to ask for leave one week in advance. This is when the awkwardness and troubles begin.

First of all, you must tell your colleagues about the passing of your family member so they may choose to stay away from you. Yes, for some Chinese who is rather conservative reckon the passing of ones is contagious and that family shall be isolated for a  period of time. A colleague has been pregnant (who is therefore extra superstitious and paranoid), and so I'm obligated to declare the issue like you declare your health status at the Customs. Due to the mental hurdle a Chinese has on funeral affairs, it is a delicate situation to tell the others about your misfortune. The delivery of message usual goes like this:

Me: Hmm...you know...hmmm...hmm...well...my grandma....you know...hmmm.....has gone...
Colleague A: ...........oh..........
[End] 


OR 

Me: Hmm...you know...hmmm...hmm...well...my grandma....you know...hmmm.....has gone...

Colleague B: ...........oh..........

She just pretended she didn't hear it.

[End]

Chinese sucks at expressing sympathy. Mainly because they just don't feel sorry, since your loss has nothing to do with them. Awkwardness is what you get most of the time when you try to break out the bad news. The above "dialogue" happened when I broke it to my boyfriend too.

To further prove themselves as a cold-blooded fuck, Chinese company owner introduces you to the Non-Claimable-Compassion Leave as part of your employment benefit. This Harry-Pottery sort of thing gives you the warm and fussy glow when it was written on the leave application form, telling you how merciful your company has been to its employees you ungrateful-son-of-a-bitch. But when you lodge your application form asking for the compassion leave, the three-headed guard dog (aka Human Resource Officer) will tear your form into pieces, telling you that your application is not legit, giving you all sort of reject reasons. When a single-headed man play with the three-headed dog, you will never win but die exhausted.

This is how another funeral needed to be planned.